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Breaking News : Rugby is on its arse!
But what about the Springboks…..What about Ireland…..
Ok everyone calm down – there are a few excpetions that make this rule (Spoiler Alert the Springboks isn’t one of them) but on the whole the global state of play for our great game is dire.
With the proverbial shit rolling down hill and despite some international prosperity for rugby nations the clubs and ultimately the players are left covered in the excrement of bad business choices of the men and women running world rugby.
But who is flying this plane? And if we are to turn this ship around and lead our sport to the promised land who do we want at the helm. Here’s what we came up with.
Dana White
President, CEO and Mr UFC Dana White took the fledgling fight promotion from a measly $2million valuation in 2001 to a whopping $4billion in 2016. Despite the primal attraction of an audience to a fight, White puts his success into allowing fan access to the “people behind the fights”- his turning point being the groundbreaking success of “The Ultimate Fighter”. What followed was a human interest story behind the barbarism of Ultimate Fighting and a global attraction to the age-old dynamic of “Good Vs Evil”.
White leaned into this and created Superstars: Liddell, Lesnar, Mcregor, Jones and Nurmagomedov that people could cheer and boo depending on your preference but ultimately their star power led to the brand hitting stratospheric growth.
Fast forward 8 years from the $4 Billion Valuation it is reported that further global expansion has led to the UFC being worth closer to $8 billion under TKO Group.
Surely this embrace of reality TV, behind the scenes of the gladiatorial side of Rugby Union along with the essential Good vs Evil Narrative (see Wales v England 1900 to present day pre match patter) and the global footprint that UFC has now created.
Dana is also unforgiving about what makes UFC great “I sell Holy-Shit Moments for a living” he once famously said. He embraces the violence, embraces the chaos but also lauds the safety measures that are in place to protect his athletes (powerslap not included)
Surely the parrallels speak from themselves and Dana White could be the guy to take Rugby Union to the next level.
Turki Al Shaikh
His Excellency Turki Al Shaikh, Chairman of the General Entertainment Authority, Saudi Arabia. A cocophony of boo’s echoes over the readers at the sheer mention of Middle-Eastern influence. Ohhh give it a rest! Saudi Arabia just the latest member of the Arab world to stake its claim in the global sports market. With the Emiratis heavily invested in the soccer world (Yes Emirates and Etihad are from there) the Saudis under a cloud of “sports-washing” accusations have led the way in sports investments over the past 10 years.
The Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia has a reported “sports war chest” of $25billion and is not afraid to spend it. Prominent investments include a reported $3billion to launch LIV Golf as well as a $650million annual budget for Riyadh Season.
Recent discussions were held between Newcastle, Gloucester and Leicester for Saudi Investment but fell lame after some media hype but maybe that is a sign of things to come.
With the recent rejection of $800Mn from Arab neighbours Qatar into the rugby economy it appears that Rugby is its own worst enemy falling to public pressure as opposed to doing their own objective analysis (this chapter by no means closed) and guaranteeing Rugby Unions future.
That being said it is inarguable the impact that the Middle East has had on professional sports over the past 20 years, it is a matter of when not if that rugby hops on this trend and a man like Turki Al Shaikh has all the contacts, know how and Riyals to make it happen.
Did someone say Summer Rugby?
Vince Mcmahon
Vincent Kennedy Mcmahon the Godfather of Professional Wrestling and recently disgraced Chairman of the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).
Mr Mcmahon allegedly bought the then WWF for $1million back in 1982 before selling it in 2023 for $9.2billion as part of the TKO Group merger under Endeavour Investments.
Vinny Mac’s keys to success was being an unforgiven territorial terrorist, unaccommodating to previously hard-lined regional promotions and creating his own World Wide Wrestling Federation.
This unapologetic approach led to him being hated by all the old heads that dominated the wrestling territories but ultimately made the entire product what it is today.
Vince then led the creative effort through the Superhero Phase of 80’s Wrestling, the Good Versus Evil of 90’s Wrestling and then the infamous Attitude Era and Monday Night Wars of Wrestling where they targeted a mature audience.
Now at the tender age of 79 and with a substantial amount of free time on his hands (no comment)- I think the Genetic Jackhammer himself could be the key in creating a global league for club rugby and a product that is engaging with fans all over the world.
Elon Musk
The last thing we need is a bloody Saffa running the place!
Ok I’m joking, but finally in our list is proud South African and Twitter Bird Terminator – Elon Musk.
Elon famously acquired Twitter (Now X) in 2022 for a mind blowing $44billion USD to “protect the worlds right to free speech”
Fast-forward 2 years and the Tesla founder has gone on to become one of the worlds most influential yet divisive characters. So who better to go tete-a-tete with the powers that be at the archaic World Rugby.
An anti-establishment “in the name of common sense" warrior Elon could just be the key to dismantle the prehistoric system that still exists within world rugby. His technological prowess will take the Analog Rugby Union Ecosystem into the digital age and his ferocious work ethic is surely exactly what our game needs to prosper.
Rugby is its own worst enemy at times, an inability to move forward because of perceived “rugby values” and protection over the old boys club that runs the game is a ball and chain at the ankle of our progress. Nothing a South African Billionaire Tech Mogul cant fix.
Conclusion
Give me Dana Whites product development – engage with the fans at a human interest level, embrace the violence and gladiatorial spirit that makes rugby great, create heroes and villains and lean into it for the good of the game but invest in the health and protection of athletes.
Give me Turki Al Shaikhs Vision and frivolous spending habits- Don’t see the game of Rugby Union as a current account, as a Profit and Loss Statement but as an investment for the future of a game that will outlive us all.
Give me Vinny Macs ruthlessness – lets not be stuck in our old ways of this region, that region. The Saffas showed us that they can jump ship and still succeed when they became European overnight. South African Rugby can have a league of its own. A British league is there for the taking but you’ll have to break a lot of eggs and piss off a lot of people (they’ll get over it). Add in a Champions League Style Tournament and you’ll build superstar teams and superstar players in one generation.
Give me Elon Musks strive for common sense – Facts don’t care about your feelings and this has led him to being one of the most vilified yet successful men on earth. He took on the establishment and won more than he hast lost. This unwaivering pursuit of truth and support of what is best for the gander and not just the goose is exactly what rugby needs.
Ultimately – give me change!!! I’m no Einstein but the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…I think I read that somewhere.